As originally posted on LinkedIn on July 25, 2016. Ivan Del Valle is the author of "The Ring Of The Witch: The Curse Of Apollo". Learn more about the book at ' https://www.sevenheartspublishing.com/featured-book '.

The red pill, or the blue one?

The Oracle: I know what you are thinking, Neo. That this article is about geeky, boring stuff.
Neo: No. I wasn't thinking about that...
The Oracle: Oh... Really?This is very uncomfortable...
Neo: Yes, it is.
The Oracle: Would you like a cookie?
Neo: No.
The Oracle: I think you should go.
Neo: Me too
[And Neo left in silence.]

The Wachowski brothers should have felt chills down their spines right now without knowing why... Needless to say, that dialogue was not part of the script of the 1999 movie hit, "The Matrix". The movie is the first install of a trilogy that feature a story about rebels that fight a desperate war against machine overlords who have enslaved humanity in an extremely sophisticated virtual reality environment. This article is about how sometimes we enslave ourselves to a present to which we believe there is no escape, triggered by the fear of change. This article is about how you are empowered to change that cycle and reprogram yourself to look at things from another perspective.

Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes. Remember that all I am offering is the truth. Nothing more.
[Neo opens his mouth and swallows the red pill.]

If you have seen the movie, in that scene Neo decides to explore the unknown, rather than staying in his current unsatisfying reality . It takes a lot of courage to take the red pill... The red pill drives us through uncertainty - a word which has an incredible connotation in our brains. Sometimes life forces you into taking the red pill, and sometimes you just can't handle your reality any longer. Taking the red pill is acknowledging that there is a problem, and that you need to take action. "Remember that all I am offering is the truth. Nothing more." Taking the red pill means the need for a change. It represents a risk towards the unknown. When I look back to all the things that have happened in my life, each and every single one of them occurred for an important reason, even if at the time it was difficult for me to understand why. I would like you to program yourself with this thought, and repeat it to yourself as often as you need... Uncertainty is a temporary stage. Fear, uncertainty are doubt are part of a temporary stage. No matter how difficult or impossible things might look like right now, you will either be able to find alternatives, or refocus your energies in looking at the challenges from another perspective. Empower yourself to believe that. Don't limit yourself to be consumed by what at the present seems like impossible, but give yourself the opportunity to refocus any negative thoughts into 'I will be able to succeed' ones.

Morpheus: Neo, sooner or later you're going to realize just as I did that there's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.

We are so good looking at things from a 'can't do' attitude, creating infinite scenarios that escalate into even worse things in our minds. Stop. Yes, I'm telling you to stop thinking that way right now. I know it might sound easy, and you might think that saying that won't solve your problems in real life... Your mind can be your best ally, or your worst foe. Reprogram yourself to believe that whatever is going on right now impacting you negatively is a temporary stage that you will be able to overcome. Overthinking problems to which you have no current solutions only lead to desperation, stress (reflected all over you both physically and emotionally), and the impact of your relationships. Note that my message is not to ignore the issues, but to be conscious that there are things that you can control, and things that you can't (at least temporarily). If you focus your thoughts on what you can't control, you will be consumed by them, but... If you focus your energy on the things that you can take action on, you will see that what looks like a gigantic monster can be broken down into tasks and actions, and you will start making progress. It's not about the issue, but how you handle the issue. It's not about what you know, but what you actually do.

Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

I was so good spending so much energy fighting my fears and regrets... until I decided to party with them on the weekends... I've learned over time to accept my imperfections, and look at them as strengths. That doesn't mean that I don't continuously strive to evolve into a better version of me. What it means is that I've come to realize that the first step towards redefining the way you look at things (and life in general) is by accepting yourself and understanding how you can net your positives and what you (and others) might perceive as negatives. The second key aspect is the acceptance and appreciation of what we think as imperfections in others. We tend to focus so much on bending the spoon - on trying to change behaviors on others - that we miss the opportunity of understanding the value of how beautiful those imperfections can be (and the value they provide). 

Trinity: Neo, no one has ever done anything like this.
Neo: I know, that's why it's going to work.

We are social beings by nature... We like to be accepted, and to feel that we 'belong'. One of the most difficult things when empowering yourself is to make the decision of who you allow to be part of your life journey. You heard me well... The decision is about who 'you allow to'. It's my personal belief that sometimes you simply need to let people go out of your life if they negatively impact your emotional well being - or don't add value to your evolution into a better person. Those decisions can be extremely difficult when they involve people very close to you, like friends or family members. There is a difference between temporarily needing some space, and taking people completely out of your life, but they might not easily recognize in which category they fall. They might not understand why you decided to distance from them, and to be crudely honest... you are not obliged to explain. People tend to see only one side of the coin, and might view you as egoistic, irresponsible, or unfair, but that is part of the price you pay for staying firm to your core beliefs and principles. Liberate yourself from auto-imposed loyalties that are not worth it. It is not easy, but believe me... It's even much more difficult accepting toxic behaviors - that shouldn't be tolerated - simply because 'the norm' says so. Empower yourself to be true to your core values, even if they involve tough choices that will change existing relationships. You need to have the maturity to understand that each coin has two sides, so you won't be either 100% right or 100% wrong, but you need to stay true to yourself once you recognize if you need to step back, or if you need to stay firm to your beliefs. You do not need to tolerate unacceptable behavior from anyone, regardless of who that person is. Period. 

Cypher: You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize?
[Takes a bite of steak]
Cypher: Ignorance is bliss.

Don't lie to yourself... If you fake who you are, you can't be happy. You might have momentary satisfactions, but you won't be happy. Lying to yourself creates a world that more sooner than later will cause pain and deceptions to yourself and to those that surround you. Again... It's all about the acceptance of who you are, and liberating from self-imposed ways of thinking. What are you really trying to achieve? Really... Take a second and ask yourself that question. Why is it so important how other people perceive you? Why do some people feel the urgency to minimize the acts of others in order to be praised for what they do? Insecurity. When you desperately need people to visualize you in a certain way, that is a sign of insecurity. When you badmouth other people, that is a sign of insecurity. Break those chains out of your life. Be yourself. Accept yourself. Empower yourself. Live your life, and not the one of somebody else. In the end, no one cares about all that wasted effort in position yourself as someone that you are not. There is people that get obsessed of being accepted (even unconsciously) by all means. I can only feel sorry for them... Don't believe that repeating lies and lies all over again to yourself will make them become your truth...

Cypher: I know what you're thinking, 'cause right now I'm thinking the same thing. Actually, I've been thinking it ever since I got here: Why oh why didn't I take the BLUE pill?

Nobody said taking the red pill was going to be easy. Outcomes might not be what you intended, and at times you might regret embarking into new horizons. I strongly believe that life was made to be lived, and not to be seen passing by. You are the protagonist of your own life. In order to really live you need to take chances. Some of them will work well, and others won't. The important thing is never to stop trying. Never surrender to the negative thoughts of the 'can't do'. You are much more than that. Yo deserve the opportunity to decide how to drive your destiny. All of us have tried things in the past that didn't work as we expected. We all have made mistakes. Today I tell you - without the slightest doubt - that your past mistakes don't define who you are, or what you are capable of (regardless of what anybody might say or think - including yourself). If you made mistakes in the past... Excellent! That means you have lived! That means that you have tried things, and for sure you have learned from them if they went wrong. Living life is about making decisions, from the simplest to the incredibly complex ones, and they inevitably involve risks. I prefer a thousand times to fail while trying than not trying at all...

Rhineheart: The time has come to make a choice, Mr. Anderson. Either you choose to be at your desk on time from this day forth, or you choose to find yourself another job.

Multiple times in our lives we either drive or are forced into a change. Regardless if you initiate it or not, it is your choice how to deal with it. Although it varies from who you ask, in general there are four recognized stages in the progression of fear, which are: stress, anxiety, avoidance, and reinforcement - which only causes the problem to persist. Instead of avoiding an issue, you need to focus on dealing with the anxiety and reversing the cycle. Not everybody feels comfortable with confrontation, but it's key in the resolution of anxiety. In the same line of thought, there are seven phases involved with the progression of anger... Hurt, frustration, fear, anger, wrath, hostility, and hate. In order to deal with anger, go back to the hurt, acknowledge it, and take responsibility for your part while forgiving the other side. You are much stronger than what you might believe. Keep your mind always open to look at issues from different perspectives. Remember, you might be forced into a situation, but it's your choice (and only yours) to decide how to react and address it. What sometimes look like a terrible event, might eventually become one of the biggest blessings of your life. Everything always happen for a reason. Look at change as your ally, and not your foe.

Morpheus: Don't think you are. Know you are!

You are special. You are beautiful. You are a gift that was brought to this life for a reason and a mission. Even if you think you are not making a difference, you are. The most amazing things in life are the simplest ones, and we often don't perceive how our words and simple acts make a big difference in the life of people that surround us - even to strangers. As I said earlier, even if you have made mistakes in your past, they do not define who you are. I really want to emphasize that, because one of the most beautiful blessings in life is the opportunity of redemption. You define who you are and what you can achieve, regardless of stereotypes or what other people might tell you. You need to program yourself to believe in you and avoid words and thoughts of negativity, which only bring noise and interference to your success. Your destiny is greatness. Do not allow anyone to take that away from you. You were meant to be happy, and to be great. Fulfill your call. Fulfill your destiny. Fulfill your greatness.

Trinity: What's he doing?
Morpheus: He's beginning to believe.

It took me some time to reprogram myself. I have made a lot of mistakes, and I have learned from them. I've gone through challenges, and continue to go through them every single day, as everyone else. I believe that I am empowered to come up with solutions to each of them. I believe that even if I don't have all the answers right now, if I stay positive, open minded, and break and address situations in chunks, I will start visualizing alternatives and options. I choose to believe in me. I choose to believe in happiness, regardless of the days that don't look bright. I choose to see me as a change agent that can motivate and inspire others to see and live life in a different, more fulfilling way. I choose who is by my side and who is not. I acknowledge that past can't be changed, but I have the power to throw to the trash the unworthy memories. I am empowered of not having to explain, demonstrate, or justify anything to anyone - unless I choose to. I am the ultimate responsible of my destiny, and I choose to live life based on my core beliefs. I might be right or wrong in a lot of things, but I choose to be me... and I love it, even with all my imperfections. I am who I am.

Neo: What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?
Morpheus: No, Neo. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to.

At the end of the movie Neo finally realized that he didn't need to dodge the bullets, because they couldn't damage who he was. He started to look at life and things in a different perspective. He realized that life was much more than what his eyes were able to see. Don't overwhelm yourself with things that are not directly under your control. Setting your defined expectations on others only brings you to eventual deception. Never judge, because sooner or later you will be the one judged, and you won't like what you will hear. Never allow anyone to judge you, especially on morale principles that they haven't followed in the past, or don't put to practice in real life (even if they think they do - invite them to look at themselves in the mirror and be honest to themselves before opening their mouths). Empower yourself to stop the unacceptable. You define how you see, cope, and deal with life. Yes, you do... Your current circumstances don't define your life journey. They are just a temporary stage on something that is much bigger than that. You are who you are, and that's the beauty of it. No one is like you. You are special, unique, and irreplaceable (again, regardless of what anybody out there says - including yourself). The time has come to empower yourself and to live your life at its fullest. Forget the excuses - as you'll always find plenty if you seek them - and start believing that you are in control of your destiny. You are what you decide to be. You were meant for greatness. Fulfill your destiny.  You are great. You are amazing. You can do incredible things. You are "The One"...

[another dialogue not part of the movie...]
The Oracle: Let's try again, Neo!
Neo: No.
The Oracle: Please, please, please, please...
Neo: Ok.
The Oracle: I know what you are thinking, Neo... That my cookies are so good that you will buy right now at least 10 boxes for your friends! Yeah, Neo!! Ten boxes!! I accept only cash!
[Neo slowly shook his head in disbelief and disagreement; stood up; and left the room.].